Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Jessie, Toy Story Costume.



Very unique belt buckle, designed and completed by Milla. 



A very easy DIY with great rewarding results. And bonus! Milla thinks the pants and shirt are brilliant so she will use them in her regular wardrobe. No wasting is always a win for me.  

*see the previous post to see how we made it. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

DIY Jessie from Toy Story Costume.

It's Book week at school, which means we get to dress up! And by "we" I mean Milla does and I just get to have fun putting it together. Although. I must say. The older she gets, the more she can do it all herself. Which is sad for my desire to do it all myself haha! But! Milla is very capable, and I reluctantly hand over {some of} the reigns. 

Back to book week! Milla has chosen Jessie, from Toy Story. Yeah I know it's book week and that's a movie. BUT! We have several books based on the movie so Cha-Ching. It works for me. 

So here's our late night craft adventure...

Cowgirl Cuffs. 
Yellow card
White paper
Craft glue 
Red sharpie

Cut, cut, glue, glue, draw, draw. 

Jessie Cowgirl Pants
White tights from Kmart
Black Fabric paint from Spotlight 

Paint in moo-print splodges. Use the Hair drier if you get bored like I did waiting for it to dry. 

Cowgirl Belt with special designed buckle. 
MDF circle 
Pens and a little person with an awesome creative mind. 

Design the buckle and glue.  
(Yes there is a Nutella Jar drawn on her buckle. We are all addicted) 

Jessie shirt 
White cardigan (Kmart) 
Yellow and Red Fabric pens (or just pens, but beware when washing that it will just run everywhere) 

Sketch on the Jessie design (one loop up, two loops down) and colour it in. 

Cowgirl hat 

We searched everywhere and couldn't find a red hat. So we settled for a cowgirl brown. What's nice is we can shorten it and wear it again... Ha! No, but really. It's quiet unisex so next year when Phoenix decides to go as Woody. We are ready to go. 

The hat we got is made from a felt-like, rubbery material. A lot of Easter hats are made from it. (I'm sorry I don't know what the materials called, it has no tags.) It's a costume hat, not a real one. 

Costume Hat (party shop)
Cross Stitching thread and needle

Because it's a costume hat, I could easily sew a boarder around the edge and glue on a matching ribbon.

Late night pajama craft time with my girl.

Tomorrow is the big reveal!!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

How I Felt: Positive Pregnancy Test after Stillborn.

Seeing those two little lines on a pregnancy test can do two things all at the one moment. Super excitement and absolute dread anxiety. Ever felt two polar opposite emotions all at one time. Not pendulum swinging between them, but simultaneously running hand in hand down the longest beach you've ever seen? 

Pregnant. I'm pregnant. Again. 5th pregnancy. 4th child. 3rd living child. So many categories to fit into. 

I've had a 12 week miscarriage, our first. A missed miscarriage, where your body goes on being pregnant even though it's stopped progressing. Joy of joys. Not. I needed a D&C. Pregnancy number 1: fail. 

Pregnancy number 2. Milla. Our precious first born, there is nothing like it. All the uncomfortableness of pregnancy, the swelling and carpel tunnel and nausea and labour and delivery- vanished in one split second. She was here. Our flower child, sweetness in existence, lush parcel of pink. 

Pregnancy number 3. Phoenix. Our beloved son. Came into the world like superman and hasn't stopped since. What a champion. An absolute heart melter with his little lispy "I love yous" and cuddles. A boys-boy who loves to fish, camp, and scooter around.  

Pregnancy number 4. Emme. Our planned and hoped for 3rd child. Our baby we waited to have at the perfect time. Our active little belly bump who never breathed a single breath of earthly air. Our precious fullterm stillborn. 

So I'm starting at these two little lines. What took you minutes to read about our journey took seconds to flash past my mind. 

{My minds ramblings go something like this}

So it's 50/50. Two died, two lived. 

It's amazing what looking at a pregnancy test can do to you....Anxiety, dread, excitement, hope... No if I hope I'll get hurt. But it's a new pregnancy it's completely different. But what if this baby dies too??

It's the unknown. It's ultimately knowing that I have no control over what happens next. It's daunting. It's scary. It's being blindfolded and pushed. 

I want be excited. But can I be excited without being hurt again? If I'm not as excited I can't get hurt as bad right? No it will suck either way. 

This baby deserves my desiring it to be here excitedly....

Seeing that pregnancy test is hard. And I had a good cry. Not because I didn't want to be. But that I had just been. I also didn't want to replace our little girl. I didn't want other people to replace our little girl. She has her place in our family just like the others. 

Here we go again. Relying on a faith that says God is ultimately in control. There's a season for everything.

My advice if you are looking at a positive pregnancy test after loss. Take one day at a time. You made it through today. Well done!! I have good days and bad days. Take the time to cry for what was. Have some support people around who will be excited with you and cry with you and help you practically. Talk to a councillor/physiologist. Have a good dr. If you have faith in God: Pray. 


Let's start at the very beginning. Pregnancy number 4

It was a sunny day late in March when, after doing at least 8 (or 50 numbers-smumbers) tests I was finally convinced this could possibly be happening, we sent this little square picture to our closest family. 

No matter how much I stared at that test knowing that "a line is a line" I just couldn't grasp the fact that this was happening. It was surreal.  

In true us style. We had a cake. The kids thought it was "Happy I love you day". Well it kind of was. {With a smidgen of "Holy-crap-we-are-doing-this Day"}  

Within seconds of sending the photo we started getting face time phone calls from parents and siblings. Can I say how reassuring it was to have their beaming faces congratulating us. When all I felt was numb excitedness, their excitement helped me feel like this was ok and that it was actually real.  

This pregnancy was super planned. Just in case you wanted to ask. We have the huge blessing of being able to pick which month we want to be due in. And I didn't want to be pregnant over Christmas so we planned for just before that. I'll do the math for you, just over 2 months after Emmes birthday we were pregnant again. Emmes pregnancy was the best, I was healthy and no recovery physically was needed (Mentally. Well. That's a different story all together) and we had the ok from my Dr. 

4 days after we announced to our family. 
This happens. 

Spotting, cramping, vomiting non stop. 
I got hospitalised for 3 days. On a drip and awesome anti nausea meds to slow the vomits down to a dull roar. 

What have I done! I thought! Not another vomity pregnancy!!! Crap! 

Armed with a handful of medication to try and keep food down I went home. Do you know how difficult it is to keep a pregnancy to yourself when you're vomiting and sick for 3 months? People get suspicious when you have one day feeling yuck. Ha! Nosey! 

5 weeks and counting. Not bad 2/3 months Postpartum (if I say so myself!) 

Pregnancy questions. Week 5. 

How far along? 5 weeks 
How big is the peanut? Teeny tiny, but bigger than where it started. Sesame seed. 
Total weight gain/loss? 0
Maternity clothes?  Nope. 
Sleep? Sleep and I are not the best friends. Well I love sleep, sleep doesn't love me. 
Best moment this week? Telling family we are expecting. 
Symptoms? No period, bloated, tired, spotting, all the usual suspects. 
Food cravings? Nope
Food aversions? Nope
Gender? Not yet 
Labor signs? Hell no
Belly button in or out? Inny
What I miss? Nothing yet. 
What I'm looking forward to? Kicks and being able to cuddle this baby on the outside. 
Milestones? We are pregnant. That's a pretty big win! 
Bump? Nope. 

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Number 4! WHAT!!!!

Surprise! Here comes Baby #4. 

Let's start this little journey with the standard pregnancy questions. Then I'll back track and cover the earlier trimester later. 

How far along?  
This week is 21weeks!! 
I'll post the progression photos to catch you up to this week. But until then, I can say that the first trimester dragged its muddy feet along so slowly I thought it would never end. The second has motored along to the point where now I'm hoping it slows down a bit!! 

How big is the peanut? 
Peanut is the size of a pomegranate or a cantaloupe depending on what app/site you look at. 

Total weight gain/loss? 
No idea really, ha! I'm gaining, I think it's a total of almost 4kgs so far. 

Maternity clothes? 
Both, I can still wear most of my regular clothes but it's much more comfy to have maternity pants on. 

What's with light sleeping? Seriously. Of all times to have great sleep it would be now, but alas. I wake at every sound. And then add in a bathroom trip. 
Thankfully I can still sleep on half my tummy and when I am asleep I am comfy. 

Best moment this week? 
More prominent kicks. My placenta is at the front with this pregnancy so I haven't felt much at all up until this point. Every kick is like a little "hello I'm here" 

Not nauseas at all. Actually barely feel pregnant apart from the obvious bump. 

Food cravings? 
All food! If I see a picture of it, I'll want it. If I smell it, I want it. If it's mentioned, I want it. Etc

Food aversions? 
None out of the ordinary. 

Yes we know!!! But I'll leave that to another day. 

Labor signs? 

Belly button in or out? 

What I miss?

What I'm looking forward to? 
Wine. And that first cry. 

Made it to over half way through this pregnancy!! Yay!!! And that I have only had one mental breakdown, I'm pretty pumped with that. A placenta at the front and not feeling kicks is very disheartening (when not feeling kicks was the tip off that something was wrong with Emmes Pregnancy). 

Yup. A definite bump going on here.

More to come: Positive pregnancy test after stillbirth. Dealing with pregnancy anxiety. Etc.